Child custody laws in most states will not forbid any parent from seeing his/her children unless something inappropriate or exceedingly harmful is happening to the child or children. While many parents may make up stories to try to gain custody of the kids, this should never be done, nor should such accusations be made lightly. It is extremely damaging and traumatizing to the children, and it could cast negative aspersions on you as the accuser. If you really think that something inappropriate is happening to your children while they are at your ex's house, you will need proof, and you will need to file a police report. Here is how to do this correctly to avoid any excess emotional and psychological damage to the children.
Suspicions of Drugging Children
In almost every state, parents have equal rights in determining legal custody issues for their kids. That means that if your ex puts your son or daughter on an ADHD medication, even though your son does not have ADHD, your ex has the parental right to do that. Likewise, if you choose not to give that medication to your son or daughter when he or she has visitation with you, you can do that.
However, what is not allowed is the illegal drugging of children. If your ex puts your daughter on birth control pills to jumpstart periods and then switches to a different form of birth control to "control the periods" (and hide what he/she did), that is illegal on a number of levels, including your daughter's right to choose what she wants for her own body. If your ex is using street drugs to knock the children out at night, that is another example of illegal drugging. If you suspect something of this nature, you need to take the kids to a doctor right away and have their blood checked for signs of medications that the children are not prescribed to take. Then, you should file a police report and a request for custody through your lawyer.
Suspicions of Incest/Rape
There are some people out there who have some really sick ideas on how to teach children about sex. In some families, these ideas are so pervasive that they have been going on for generations. If you suspect that any member of your ex's family has had inappropriate sexual contact with your children, go to the police.
Ask the police to conduct a proper investigation and questioning of the children on each child's level. If the police find out anything that seems suspicious, file a report and request a full investigation. File a protective order for the children. Then, you should file a custody request through your divorce attorney.