When it comes time to divorce, the amount of money you spend on this process can vary greatly depending on your attitude. More than the hourly fee your attorney charges, the way you and your spouse approach this process affects the bottom line more than almost anything else. You can also have an expensive divorce if you like, and taking the actions below will likely ensure that you do.
Revenge is Sweet
Getting back at your spouse for cheating on you or for other wrongdoing is very tempting, and hitting back in a public venue like court can feel that much sweeter, but it will cost you. The main idea, and goal, of a divorce is the peaceful parting of a couple who hope to have a better future. The law sees divorce as non-confrontational, and most states now take a "no-fault" approach to it, and so should you. Divorce is not about punishing anyone, and if you persist in this quest, you could find yourself emotionally empty and drained of funds when it's all over with. If you keep your wits about you and stay focused on getting a fair and equitable divorce settlement, you can leave this process with an enhanced financial status.
Pretend it's Not Happening
The opposite of trying to get revenge is denial, and it is just as unhealthy and financial damaging as revenge. This divorce is happening, no matter how much you want to deny it, and failing to recognize that fact and to stand up for your rights could mean that, once over with, your spouse has gotten the better of you while you were pretending it wasn't happening.
Soothing Yourself with Things
This is no time to make yourself feel better by going on a shopping spree. Money that does need to be spent on your divorce should not be going toward outfitting your bachelor pad or on a new handbag, particularly if it means that you might be getting a better financial settlement. Moreover, the money you spend before you divorce is part of your marital property, and you may be causing a lot of problems for yourself if the judge notes that you are running up marital debt and depleting marital property.
Many people going through a divorce allow their emotions to lead the way, resulting in unwise financial decisions at a time when they should be focusing on getting the best financial settlement possible. Talk to your family attorney about your issues, and seek therapy to prevent any of the above from impacting you in a negative manner.